DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE RELIGIOUS, THIS MAY AND PROBABLY WILL OFFEND YOU. TURN BACK NOW IF YOU CAN'T STOMACH CRITICISM.

I THINK U GUYS ARE DECIEVED BY THE DEVIL AND HIS SPIRITS. MAKING THIS STUFF UP IS MERELY CREATED BY SOMEONE AND ITS AN EXCUSE TO HAVE AND DO WHAT UWANNA DO AND I FEEL THAT SOME SPAGHETTI MONSTER CANT EXPLAIN THE UNEXPLAINED AND CANT HELP ME SPIRITUALLY AS I COME TO REALIZE CHRIST HELPS ME MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT THIS IS TRUE AND TRY HIM CHRIST IS REAL AND PERSONALLY THATS MY EVIDENCE. PEOPLE ITS ALL MADE UP THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER ISNT REAL
-kathleen

It's a sad, sad crapsack world we live in. I have a hard time believing that this was written by a human being.

This, my friends, is "concerned criticism" copy and pasted directly off of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. [link]

Excuse me while I tear this hatemail apart, sentence by sentence.

_{Sentence 1}
"I THINK U GUYS ARE DECIEVED BY THE DEVIL AND HIS SPIRITS."

You know, my first reaction upon reading this was "Maybe they're blind and are using one of those special computers that only seem to type in all-caps (check out a forum for blind people sometime; you'll see what I'm talking about)." But really, I don't think that's the case. I've seen blind people with better grammar/spelling.

By the way, that's a lovely way to get your point across; immediately start out on the wrong foot by implying that the group of people you are talking to are possessed by malignant spirits.

_{Sentence 2, Section A (because this thing is an abomination of a run-on)}
"MAKING THIS STUFF UP IS MERELY CREATED BY SOMEONE AND ITS AN EXCUSE TO HAVE AND DO WHAT UWANNA DO"

What? I'm assuming the point that was trying to be made here was "This is all made up by someone and is just an excuse to do whatever you want."

Was that so hard?

And secondly: NO SH*T, SHERLOCK.

It is painfully obvious that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is completely made up, and you'd have to be pretty darn STUPID to think that other people actually believe in it.

_{Of course, people have believed in an invisible bearded man floating in the sky for centuries. So yeah...}

And yet, you wouldn't believe the ridiculously long lists of hatemail for the FSM Church that are just that: people who think these atheists (look up the definition for "atheist" again, people) honestly believe in the FSM.

It's called a PARODY RELIGION, GAIS.

_{Sentence 2, Section B}
"AND I FEEL THAT SOME SPAGHETTI MONSTER CANT EXPLAIN THE UNEXPLAINED"

You're right, that's the job for scientists.

OOPS, I mean God. </sarcasm>

_{Sentence 2, Section C}
"AND CANT HELP ME SPIRITUALLY AS I COME TO REALIZE CHRIST HELPS ME MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY"

Skipping over the grammar errors, as there is clearly no help for this person at this point.

If you ask me, Christ isn't very good at his job if this is the kind of mental "help" he gives. Or, an alternative could always be that he really is helping, and that this person was even stupider before receiving said assistance.

Frightening. I may never have faith in humanity again.

_{Sentence 2, Section D}
"AS I COME TO REALIZE CHRIST HELPS ME MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY"

Repetition. Do not want.

_{Sentence 2, Section E}
"AND I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT THIS IS TRUE"

Care to share?

_{Train Wreck Sentence 2, Section F}
"AND TRY HIM CHRIST IS REAL"

Honey, you're really not the best person to be advertising for Mr. Christ.

_{Sentence 2, Section G}
"AND PERSONALLY THATS MY EVIDENCE."



Need I even comment on this part? Honestly...

_{Sentence 3}
"PEOPLE ITS ALL MADE UP THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER ISNT REAL"

Once again, no duh.

_Closing
"-kathleen"

Nice that she realized the caps was on just in time to sign her name in lowercase. Could this possibly hint some self-esteem issues? That her name's not important enough to be capitalized? Hmmm...

Well, it's nothing that God can't help, I'm sure!

Make a note, kathleen: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL, BUT EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL NEED TO STEER.

Jokes (lolnotrly) aside, this really is just sad. And this is not even the worst that flamers could puke up, if you can believe it. The one thing I can commend Ms. kathleen on is that she didn't swear incessantly. Funny, I didn't know Christians were all for cursing like that.

And I say Christians because those are the only people who EVER send in hate mail. I'm not afraid to say it: Christians are haters. I am, too, but at least I'm open about it.

This is why I really don't have a problem with Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, etc. They don't put themselves out there and make complete asses of themselves (yeah, you heard me).
Muslims do, to an extent, but think about it this way: Muslims who live in America (I say America because that's where I live; I can't speak for other countries.) don't. It's only the extremists who live back in old country. _{(And even then, I know for a fact that the majority of those who live in old country aren't as bad as the media portrays them to be.)}

America's not old country. America is a new country where at the very least people should learn to debate their beliefs and ideas in an intelligent manner.

And I might be sitting here ranting about these people (in my own journal, mind you, where I'm free to rant about whatever I want), but I'd never go to, say, a Christian forum, and start bashing everyone there. _{Trust me, sometimes I'd love to, but that's just being a troll.} That's what pisses me off about people; they think they have the right to go and preach to whoever they want because they've got their "god" and to hell with other people's beliefs, because they're WRONG.

_{By the way, did you know the phrase "go to hell" comes from Germanic mythology? Hel was Loki's daughter, and the mistress of the underworld. "Go to Hel"=go to the underworld. FUNNY. I thought Christianity was all about anti-paganism, AND YET HERE WE ARE STEALING IDEAS.}

M'kay, I'm going to cut it off here (actually did not intend for this to turn into a rant). Feel free to agree/disagree with me, or punch me in the face, if it makes you feel better.
I'd prefer a good argument, though. Considering I have my father's genes, I'm probably definitely a debater at heart.

I guess religion's good for one thing: the silly beliefs are excellent for venting stress.

[EDIT] I suppose I should note that I do have Christian friends, so it's not like I think they're all terrible. I'm talking about are the extremists. And even then, some non-extremists can get crazy sometimes... [/EDIT]